Do you and your fiancé love the idea of hosting a small, intimate wedding? Is the prospect of hurting people’s feelings holding you back from planning the real, compact celebration of your dreams? If so, stop worrying. It is totally possible to hold a small wedding without breaking the bonds of friendship or angering your entire extended family in the process. You just need to have a bit of finesse and some common sense when it comes to figuring out who gets an invite and all the other people that don’t.
Skip the Plus Ones, Within Reason
One of the fastest and most judicious ways to slash a guest list is by determining from the get go that there will be no plus ones. Obviously, this doesn’t mean your aunt and uncle have to decide which of them will go to represent the family. It simply means that all your single friends need to come with one another, instead of picking up last-minute wedding dates whose dinners you’ll have to buy and seats you’ll have to save. After all, you don’t want to look out into your small sea of loved ones during the “I do’s” and be thrown off wondering who on earth that is by your old college roommate.
Which Is More Important, Old or New?
For many couples, narrowing down the list further comes down to who is more important, new friends you are currently close to, or old friends that you loved deeply but with whom you have lost touch? The general rule here is to stick with a system, to avoid hurt feelings. In other words, if you and your fiance shared an alma mater, you should either invite all your old school chums you no longer talk to regularly, or none of them. The same principle is true of family friends. If you would never forgive yourself for snubbing your parents’ best friends who were like an extra set of parents growing up, by all means invite them. But if you’re going to invite them, don’t exclude the next door neighbors who were and still are super close with your parents and each other.
When It Comes to Cousins…
Family can be particularly troublesome. Do second cousins count as must-invites? How about great aunts whose first names you can’t remember? In line with the previous points, the best route here is to have a consistent plan. If you love your second cousin, be prepared to invite his or her brothers and sisters as well. It’s only fair, even if you don’t particularly love them so much.
On the other hand, if you’re not close with any of your great aunts or uncles, or their offspring, don’t feel bad if they don’t make the list.
If you’re still worried about it, keep in mind that you can likely soften the blow of the possibly-perceived snub, by inviting them to a simple family gathering after-the-fact, during which they can meet and/or congratulate you and your then spouse. A low-key post-reception reception is a great way to help others feel included, without cramping your style, or standing between you and the intimate wedding you’ve envisioned. This is particularly helpful if you’ll be hosting a destination wedding, which many people may not be able to attend.
Still Searching for the Right Venue for Your Intimate Wedding?
Texas Old Town is located in the beautiful Hill Country of Texas, a perfect wedding destination for Austin brides and those who simply love a great rustic venue! Call Texas Old Town today for more information about our Austin area wedding venue at 512.396.1800!